Spirited

From a spirited childhood

To a spiritual adulthood 

From embodied joy

To embodying stress

From the simplicity of being 

To the complexities of doing  

You move through

The first half of your life.

You become spiritual

Not to seek the Divine

But to fulfill your material desires 

And to cope with inevitable failures.

You accept the limited

In place of the unlimited.

What should have freed you

Instead imprisons you.

This journey continues

With many twists and turns

Your spirits rise and fall

With every ebb and flow.

Until that day

When you become aware

Of your true nature

That is Sat-Chit-Ananda.

For most of us

It happens slowly but surely

You get disentangled

From your self delusions.

One by one

You drop your masks

And the defenses

You had built over the years.

They had to go

Because they could not

Hide you from Yourself

Or protect You from you.

You feel a little vulnerable

But also much lighter

You shed the dead weight

And then the Spirit soars.

This is the beginning

Of a new journey

A return to your childhood

To a life of simplicity and joy.

Where you can move

Beyond false pretensions

Of being spiritual

To being spirited again.

Photo Credit: Robert Collins on Unsplash

Rama's Fury

 

         Rama's Fury

You challenged me.

Okay, I accept it,

And wholeheartedly.

Now, try breaking my spirit.

 

Let's see what wins,

Truth or lies.

Fictitious storylines

Or words of the wise.

 

Dharma, it is not

When you pray to Kali,

But with a lust

For money.

 

Dharma, it is

When you surrender to

Maa Kali's wish

To destroy your ego.

 

Dharma, it is

When you confess

Your lies,

And accept disgrace.

 

But I know you won't,

Just like Duryodhana

Who believed his evil stunts

Would get him Pandava's dhana.

 

You cheated in the court,

But how will you

Cheat Lord Shiva's consort,

Who sees everything through?

 

Defeated and disgraced,

You will be.

Even Ravana, Shiva's bhakt highest

Was crushed, when rose Rama's fury.

Philosophy of My Favorite Movies

Little over a week ago, a good friend of mine nominated me on Facebook to identify my top 10 favorite movies..one per day. I usually avoid taking up any challenges on social media because they are rarely challenging, and worse, often self-aggrandizing. The current challenge also had the danger of being self-aggrandizing: "Look, I am so cool to have watched these cool movies that you probably haven't!" However, after a little hesitation, I did take up the challenge, because it would give me the opportunity to reflect on the movies I have watched.

We do a lot of stuff in life, reading books, watching movies, meeting people, working on our jobs, and so on. However, we do not spend enough time reflecting on them. We quickly move from one activity to another, rarely ever pausing to reflect on our actions and experiences. I think this is a tragedy because when we don't reflect, we bereave ourselves of the opportunity to learn and gain insights.

So, I decided to take up the challenge of identifying my top 10 favorite movies, but instead of simply posting the posters of my favorite movies, I also decided to explain why I loved these movies. And this process of reflecting on my favorite movies has indeed been an illuminative and insightful experience for me. In the current post, I re-list the movies I had posted daily on Facebook, with some additional comments. In the interest of readers' time, I have tried to keep my reflections short. I hope people still find some value in these short notes.

My Top 10 Movies

10. Predator

My first movie on the list was the Predator, the original one from 1987. For those who know that I am a fan of the action genre, this selection may not be surprising. However, I must also admit that there are many better action movies than the Predator. The reason Predator ended up on my list is that I had watched the latest installment of the Predator series the same day. So comparisons between the two were inevitable.

While the new movie was spoilt by the inclusion of some very unrealistic characters  (for example, a woman scientist whose physical prowess were better than that of trained soldiers) influenced by the radical social justice movement recently plaguing Hollywood, the original was not. Worse, in the new movie, many of the characters fighting the Predators did not seem to have any fear. In contrast, the first movie, despite being full of tough guys, showed them as vulnerable. Specifically, they were scared shit of the unknown danger in front of them. This vulnerability made them relatable to the audience. The problem with a lot of action movies these days, especially in Indian cinema, is that they make their heroes completely invincible.

I think another reason why the original Predator movie worked so well, despite its many flaws, was that it didn't show the body of the predator until much later in the movie. I believe this is what made the movie so scarily thrilling. When you don't see the monster, you imagine the worst. The fear of the unknown puts the imagination on an overdrive and makes the movie scary and thrilling. This is also the same reason why the first Jaws movie is such a classic, but all the later shark movies, despite their higher production values are just jokes.

9. Die Hard

Die Hard is another great action movie. It was directed by John McTiernan, the same guy who also directed the Predator. I think Die Hard is an absolute masterpiece when it comes to action movies. No wonder its formula (Man accidentally in a bad situation trying to do his best to cope with the challenges thrown at him) has been copied over and over again in the action movie genre: e.g., the other movies in the Die Hard series, the Under Seige series, White House Down, The Rock, Home Alone series, Cliffhanger, the Speed series, Passenger 57, Mall Cop, and many many more. Some of these movies were also good action thrillers. However, Die Hard was the first movie to experiment with this formula or at least the one to do it effectively.

The character of John McClane in the first Die Hard movie is not a hero with "superhuman" strength or skills. He does have some skills as a cop, but he is not invincible. He gets badly beaten and injured as he tries to overpower the villains of the movie. He just barely survives the ordeal with some ingenuity and luck. The main thing in his favor is his strong determination. He is a man who won't give up easily. No wonder we root for this very human-kind of superhero.

I think the reason most action movies don't work as well as the first Die Hard is because the movie makers seem more invested in showcasing the muscular power or the martial arts skills of their hero than his vulnerabilities. They forget that no amount of action and visual spectacle can equate the power of human emotions.

8. The Matrix

The Matrix is usually remembered as an action movie. However, I love the Matrix because:
1) It had a lot of symbolism and deep philosophy (especially from the Bhagavad Gita) seamlessly integrated into its science-fiction storyline. I think no other movie has ever presented the idea of mukti (liberation) as effectively as the Matrix did.
2) The screenplay of Matrix was also absolutely brilliant. I still remember being surprised so many times throughout the movie.
3) Most importantly, the Matrix urged men to see reality the way it is, and free themselves from the shackles that were binding them. The symbolic "Red Pill" from the movie has literally saved countless men from becoming mental slaves or giving up on life.

Coming to the action sequences of the movie, yes, it did have some spectacular action scenes. These scenes also completely revolutionalized the action-movie genre in the post-Matrix period. Unfortunately, a lot of directors (especially in India) continue to make slow-motion, gravity-defying action scenes in their movies. They don't realize that such scenes worked in the Matrix because such fights seemed logical in the world of the Matrix (the fights were happening in the matrix and not in the real world). But when directors insert such fights in stories that are supposed to be happening in the real world, they just look ridiculous. God save us from stupid imitators!

7. The Godfather 1 & 2

The Godfather 1 & 2 are among the best movies ever made. What can I say about these movies that haven't already been said? Probably nothing. So I'll just start by noting that these movies were much more than gritty crime dramas. If we strip away the crime part, I think these movies were essentially about the ethics of relationships. If anyone wants to understand and appreciate the masculine view of personal and work relationships, the movies in the Godfather series are the ones to watch.

The Godfather series also provides great insights about how to conduct business. I believe director Francis Ford Copolla had himself once said that these movies were metaphors of how capitalism operates. Unlike the other movies that I have identified so far on my list, the power of the protagonists in the Godfather series comes less from muscle or gun power, and more from intelligence. The Godfather movies are intelligent movies. They did not contain cheap twists in their stories but had the best character development that helped us realize how the power of the brain is much more superior to that of the brawn.

6. Schindler's List

The horrors of the Holocaust have inspired the creation of numerous cinematic masterpieces. For a long time, I was literally obsessed with watching these movies. I think this was my way of trying to make sense of why do people do evil things and how do the victims cope and overcome the horrifying challenges thrown at them.

As I reflect on all the movies I have watched on the Holocaust, I think Schindler's List is the greatest movie made on the topic. I admire this movie because I think it was more rooted in reality than others. Movies tend to show that the good, hardworking, brave man always wins. We like such movies because that's what we want to believe as well. However, Oskar Schindler could save over 1200 jews from certain death, not because he was the proverbial "good man". He could save these people only because he had been an asshole...a greedy, war-profiteering Nazi party member. We like to believe that good always triumphs over evil...this is certainly what I believed for a very long time in my life. However, the reality is that good usually gets trounced by evil. This does not mean that we become evil, but that realizing our inner asshole can actually help us fight and win the good's eternal battle against evil.

5. Jagten (The Hunt)

The next favorite movie on my list is Jagten (or The Hunt), a 2012 Danish film. But before I describe why it is, let me discuss the current event of US Judge Kavanaugh being accused by a woman (Dr. Ford) of having raped her some 32 years ago. Prima facie, there are a lot of holes in this accusation. However, a large section of the American population has already declared him guilty. At a press conference, Senator Mazie Hirono even asserted, "Not only do women like Dr. Ford, who bravely comes forward, need to be heard, but they need to be believed. They need to be BELIEVED! ... I just want to say to the men of this country: Just shut up and step up. Do the right thing for a change."

Yes, according to Hirono, not only is Kavanaugh guilty without examination of evidence but so are all the men of USA for not blindly coming to the support of the accuser. Our society is such that we easily believe women accusers. The man is almost always considered guilty until proven innocent and sometimes seen as guilty even after proven innocent. It's as if a woman can do no wrong, and a man can only do wrong.

This is broadly the theme of the movie, Jagten. The protagonist of the movie played by the great Mads Mikkelsen is a simple, good human being, and works as a teacher at a kindergarten school. One little girl falsely accuses him of sexual molestation (Yes, even little kids can lie! And this is very delicately shown in the movie). Then we see how the protagonist's life crumbles because of this false accusation. In the end, he is proven innocent, but unfortunately, that is not enough...

Jagten is an extremely sensitive and brave movie! The makers of the movie touched upon a subject that is rarely ever explored in movies, except probably in cheap psychopath thrillers. My hats off to the makers of this masterpiece.

4. 1947: Earth

1947: Earth is an Indian film that was released in 1999. Similar to my previous favorite movie, this is also a disturbing movie. It brings us face to face with the fact that the threads of sanity and friendliness that hold our society together can sometimes collapse in a snap and lead to unimaginable horror.

The Indian film industry is the largest in the world, and I grew up enjoying Indian movies. However, '1947: Earth' is going to be the only Indian movie on this list, because I have come to recognize the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) Hinduphobia in these movies. In Indian movies, Hindus are often depicted as narrow-minded, prejudiced and discriminating. In contrast, non-Hindu people are always good human beings, even when they are from an "enemy nation". Professor Dheeraj Sharma from IIM-A has documented this phenomenon well.

Non-Hindu characters in Indian movies can do no wrong. On the rare occasion that they do anything wrong, the movies try to evoke sympathy for these characters by showing them to be helpless victims of circumstances or the system.

To the best of my knowledge, '1947: Earth' is the only Indian movie to show a Muslim protagonist committing some extremely heinous acts, specifically that of betraying his friends that lead to their rape and/or murder. He is certainly influenced by his personal loses during partition. However, his horrifying actions are shown as cold choices and not as compulsions of his immediate circumstances. That's what makes this movie so important in the history of Indian cinema. It is a rare movie that did not play it safe and stayed true to its source material. Deepa Mehta has to be very brave for producing and directing this film.

3. 12 Angry Men

'12 Angry Men' is a black-and-white movie that was made way back in 1957, but it is easily one of the greatest movie ever made in entire cinematic history. I saw this movie a little before my 30th birthday. I am glad I came across this movie not too late in my life because it did have a profound influence on me. According to me, if there was one movie that should be made mandatory viewing for everyone today, it would be this one. The reason I say this is because we the people often get carried away by others thoughts and opinions. We don't use critical thinking skills to properly evaluate the merits of people's arguments. This especially happens under certain conditions. I can't detail them here because that would go into several pages of discourse, but needless to say, our agreeable gullibility can have devastating consequences. You should definitely watch this movie (if you haven't yet), and you will learn a lot about critical thinking, leadership, persuasion, and more.

2. The Shawshank Redemption

The Shawshank Redemption is a 1994 movie that has won the hearts of many. This is may perhaps be true for many people, but if there is a specific movie theme that I love watching the most, it is that of people overcoming insurmountable obstacles. There is something compelling about people who succeed in pulling themselves out of deplorable conditions. They may or may not have directly caused their initial misfortunes, but I can't help admire people who by their sheer grit pulled themselves out of misery. And there are numerous great movies with this theme (e.g., the original Rocky, The Pursuit of Happyness, Homeless to Harvard, Cinderella Man, Breaking Away, and many many more). However, the movie that had the strongest visceral impact on me was 'The Shawshank Redemption'. I have only watched this movie once, and that was at least a decade ago, but there are numerous scenes from this movie that still remain firmly etched in my mind.

(An Interesting Coincidence: It turned out that this movie was released the exact same day (Sept. 23) I posted about it on Facebook.)

Contenders to my most favorite movie:

Before I share the top movie on my list of top 10 favorite movies, I must acknowledge that I struggled a lot to decide on my most favorite movie. There were several worthy competitors. All of these contenders could easily have fit into my list of top 10 movies. The only reason they did not is that the selection method of my favorite list was an organic process. While the first movie on my list (i.e., Predator) was pretty impulsive, the latter selections were more thought out. So before I share my top favorite movie, let me share some worthy contenders to that position:

• Forrest Gump

Forrest Gump may not have the kind of high ratings as The Shawshank Redemption, but in my humble view, it is an extraordinary film. Both the movies were released the same year in 1994. It was Forrest Gump and not The Shawshank Redemption, that took away all the important Academy Awards that year. I think Forrest Gump was a better-made movie than The Shawshank Redemption. So it deserved all the Oscars it won that year. However, over the years Forrest Gump fell out of favor from the critics because it espoused a perspective that isn't appreciated well enough in the West.

The paradigm of Forrest Gump is the exact opposite of The Shawshank Redemption. In the world of Forrest Gump, you don't have to have goals and plans to succeed in life. This is metaphorically shown in the famous opening scene of the movie where the camera follows a feather lazily drifting in the wind. The character of Forrest is shown as achieving a lot of great things in the movie despite being a person of low IQ. He did not have the goal of achieving these things. He just did his best in every situation, and "God" took care of the rest. As Forrest's mother advises Forrest in a scene, "You have to do the best with what God has given you. Life is a box of chocolates, Forrest; You never know what you gonna get."

This is a paradigm that I believe most people have difficulty understanding. It makes them think that Forrest was simply lucky. However, according to me, the reason Forrest achieved what he did in the movie is not because he was lucky, but because he was completely involved in whatever act he engaged in. He didn't care about goals or plans, and just involved himself completely with whatever was in front of him. He still achieved big things in life, because that is the power of sharanagati (loosely translated as surrender) as described in the Bhagavad Gita. 

Forrest Gump could easily have been my topmost movie, but the reason it did not is that it had the implicit message that sharanagati is only possible for people who are too dumb to have goals and plan for themselves. The reality is that the real power of sharanagati comes when it is a conscious choice.

• The Big Lebowski

When I watched the 1998 cult-classic The Big Lebowski by the Coen Brothers for the first time, I found it too weird to enjoy it well. Only when I watched it again several years later did I appreciate the symbolism and philosophy of this movie. In a way, The Big Lebowski espouses the same philosophy as the Forrest Gump: live life as it comes without worrying about the future. Since Lebowski is not dumb like Forrest was in Forrest Gump, we can say that he chose this way of living consciously. No wonder, he appears as this cool dude who abides. The character of Lebowski is so cool that it has inspired the formation of a new religion called Dudeism. According to Wikipedia entry on Dudeism, people believing in Dudeism try to live life by "going with the flow", "being cool headed", and "taking it easy" in the face of life's difficulties.

Because taking life as it comes is a conscious choice of Lebowski, I think The Big Lebowski does a slightly better representation of sharanagati than Forrest Gump. However, sharanagati is not just about accepting and surrendering to what happens in life, it is also being completely involved with life, which the character of Lebowski is not. That is why The Big Lebowski is not my topmost favorite movie. Lebowski is essentially a loser. He may be happy, but to me, his "taking it easy" approach to life borders on inertia (tamasic nature), which is not a desirable attribute. The world needs more self-disciplined and hard-working individuals, not cool lazy bums.

• No Country for Old Men

No Country for Old Men is a Coen Brothers' crime/suspense movie that was released in 2007. I had watched it within the first couple of weeks of its release. I had found the movie thrilling but the ending was unsatisfying. It seemed like all the suspense in the movie ultimately amounted to nothing. I was disappointed. I had even written about it in a blog post then.

However, a couple of years ago, when I rewatched the No Country for Old Men, I realized what a brilliant movie it was. Not only did I notice the significance of many important scenes that I had missed before, but I also began to appreciate the reason behind the weird ending of the movie. Life is just not always fair. In life, bad things often happen to good people, to the extent they may also get killed meaninglessly; bad people also sometimes walk out scot-free. What the movie depicted really well is that there is no divine-justice in real life, and that's what made it so upsetting. Paraphrasing Nietzsche, it’s not human suffering that bothers us, its the pointless suffering.

No Country for Old Men is an outstanding movie, but it is not on the top of my Top 10 list because it is just too dark. The nihilism so well depicted in the movie may be very close to reality, but nihilism is still just a paradigm of negation. It has no motivational value, and is more likely to create people like Lebowski in The Big Lebowski whose acceptance is more a sign of they having given up on life than feeling motivated by their surrender.

1. Cool Hand Luke

From the poster of Cool Hand Luke

The 1967 movie, Cool Hand Luke is my most favorite movie, essentially because it shows a resolution to the question posed by the extreme paradigms of the Forrest Gump, The Big Lebowski, and No Country for Old Men. The resolution is not perfect, but it is closest I have seen a movie achieve. 

Cool Hand Luke is the story of a man named Luke. [SPOILER ALERT AHEAD] Life hasn't been fair to him. He makes some wrong decisions and ends up in prison. The prison system tries to break his spirit. He decides to escape the prison. He plans and executes an escape, but gets caught. He does it again and fails. And again, and fails, this time causing him to lose his life. But the entire time that he is in the prison, escaping, getting caught, and finally getting killed, he retains "That old Luke smile." Now that is true sharanagati: You know that life is unfair, that it is pointless. That doesn't prevent you from setting goals and planning to help achieve them. As you have goals, you also take life as it comes. You have complete sharangati (equanimity coming from surrender) to whatever happens to life. So you succeed in retaining "That old Luke smile" regardless of your life-conditions.

"A man's just gotta go his own way."

A Personality Analysis of Lord Rama

Today is Rama Navami, the festival that celebrates the birth of Lord Rama, the Hindu god who is the hero of the historical epic of Ramayana. Rama is an important deity in Hinduism because he is considered to be the seventh avatar of Vishnu, the Supreme God in the Vaishnav tradition of Hinduism. In this article, I do a personality analysis of Rama.

Why Analyze Rama's Personality?

Before I analyze Rama's personality, it is imperative that I explain why I am doing this analysis. Hinduism is one of the very few religious traditions where all spiritual practices are ultimately aimed towards helping us realize our true self. The Hindu tradition recognizes that we are much more than our body and mind, the things that we typically identify with. According to the Vedas and Upanishads, we are actually the Supreme Spirit that we worship. This is reflected in the Sanskrit maxims such as अहं ब्रह्मास्मि (Aham Brahmāsmi) and शिवोहम (Shivoham). The goal then is self-realization (आत्मबोधः), and through it our ultimate liberation (मोक्ष).

However, self-realization is easier discussed than achieved, because we are not simply talking about  intellectual realization, but experiential realization. Intellectual realization, at best, could be small step in the direction of experiential realization. In any case, even intellectual realization may be difficult. How do we go beyond our identification with the body and mind, and realize that we are actually the Supreme Spirit (ब्रह्म)? Extremely difficult, right? This is where the millions of gods and goddesses within the Hindu tradition--including the Vishnu Avatars--come into play. Vishnu is considered the Supreme Spirit within the Vaishnav tradition of Hinduism, but how do you understand and grasp Vishnu who is so abstract? As described in the Vishnu Sahasranama, the Supreme Spirit is Nirgunah  (without any properties), Adrishyah (imperceptible), Ajah (unborn), Amoortih (formless), Anantah (endless or infinite). Vishnu may be formless, imperceptible and infinite, but Rama should be much more easy to comprehend and realize simply because he was also a human being like us. The purpose of analyzing Rama's personality then is to understand him, so that we can first become better human beings. How can we expect to realize the divinity within us if we haven't even succeeded in realizing our human potential? In other words, we first need to become a great human being (उत्तम पुरुष) before we can realize that we are the Supreme Spirit (पुरुषोत्तम). So how do we become a great human being (उत्तम पुरुष)? Modern psychology gives us some insights.

Rama's Personality on the HEXACO Dimensions

HEXACO is a foundational model of human personality that extends the original Big 5 personality model. It discusses six personality trait dimensions:

1. Honesty-Humility (H): Honesty-Humility refers to the tendency to be either honest, sincere and humble as opposed to being greedy, pretentious and deceitful. From all the stories in Ramayana, we can easily conclude that Rama was very high on the positive end of the honesty-humility dimension. Rama was committed to Dharma, and was always humble despite being a king and an Avatar of Vishnu.
2. Emotional Stability (E): Emotional stability refers to the trait of not being easily perturbed under stress. The opposite end of the emotional stability is called as neuroticism and is manifested in form of being oversensitive, sad, sentimental, anxious, fearful and hostile. Rama again was very high on emotional stability. In fact, it could easily be argued (as has been done by Sadhguru) that the primary reason we worship Rama is because he always kept his cool and dignity even though a lot of unfortunate events happened in his life. Emotional stability was also a strong characteristic of Lord Krishna, another Avatar of Vishnu. And he describes the importance of it in great detail in the Bhagavad Gita when he discusses the characteristics of a Stithaprajnya (स्तिथप्रज्ञ) or an emotionally stable person.
3. Extraversion (X): Extraversion refers to the trait of being outgoing, social, talkative. The opposite end of extraversion is called introversion and refers to the trait of being reserved and quiet. Based on my analysis of the stories in Ramayana, I think Rama was more on the introversion side than on the extraversion side of the spectrum. Rama's personality here is a stark contrast to Krishna's personality, who was a strong extrovert. Given that Rama and Krishna were so different from each other on this dimension means that the extraversion-introversion dimension is not as critical to realizing the best within ourselves. We can be a great human being either way.
4. Agreeableness (A): Agreeableness is the tendency to be caring, compassionate and lenient. The opposite end of this spectrum describes people who are selfish and lack empathy. Again according to me, Rama was a person very high on agreeableness, perhaps even a little too high. I think many of the difficulties that he faced in his life (from having to go on 14 years of exile  in the forests and later having to relinquish his wife) were all because of his extreme agreeableness. Krishna also was on the agreeableness side of the spectrum, but was not too high on agreeableness, and consequently didn't have to endure as much pain as Rama did.  And perhaps that is the reason, only Krishna is considered a Poorna Avatar and not Rama. Krishna had mastered the art of being caring and compassionate without being a pushover. Agreeableness, then may be a good quality to have, but only in small dozes. Otherwise, it can cause a lot of difficulties, at least in our worldly life.
5. Conscientiousness (C): Conscientiousness refers to being hardworking, industrious and organized. People low on conscientiousness tend to lack self-discipline and are lazy and sloppy. Rama and Krishna were all undoubtedly a very conscientious individuals. This is not surprising, because no greatness is ever possible (even for the Avatars) without a lot of disciplined hardwork.
6. Openness (O): Openness refers to the trait of being imaginative, creative, intellectually curious, and being attentive to one's inner feelings. People on the lower end of this trait tend to conventional and rigid in their outlook. Given that Rama was a learned man who was well-versed with all the tenets of Dharma, he was surely high on openness, if not necessarily as high as Krishna was on this dimension.

Summary

This is just a blog post, not a book or even a book chapter, so I couldn't go into too much detail in my analysis. However, I hope that my analysis of Lord Rama's personality and the comparisons with Krishna's personality provided you with some insights about which personality traits you should focus on developing if you were to actualize your human potential. My conclusion is that conscientiousness, emotional stability, openness and honesty-humility are the most critical facets. Extraversion-introversion dimension is irrelevant in the sense that both extroverted and introverted individuals can achieve greatness, albeit in different ways. Agreeableness is perhaps the most controversial trait in terms of its role in our development. It is certainly good to be caring and compassionate, but evidence suggests that these same qualities could also potentially cause us to be a pushover, especially especially if we are too agreeable.

Ultimately, we need to remember that actualizing our full human potential is just a necessary step, and not a sufficient step, to realize our true spiritual self. People often turn into spirituality as if it was a refuge for the losers. However, we can never realize our true self as losers. Spirituality then is about working and succeeding in cultivating oneself to our highest levels of being so that it becomes easier to gain self-realization. Understanding our personality traits and striving to cultivate more positive ones is a small step in that direction.

Be Still & Flow

BE STILL & FLOW

Music flowed

When I learnt

To stay still

On a note.

And life flowed

When mind learnt

To be still

When provoked.

© Paresh Mishra

Around the Great Smokey Mountains National Park (November, 2017)

Yogic High

YOGIC HIGH

Life is hard
But I am high.
That's the reward
When you unify.

© Paresh Mishra

True Love Affair

A small fall that I had come across on a hike in the outskirts of Vancouver, Canada

TRUE LOVE AFFAIR

I was once in love

I loved somebody

But then she took off

And I became lonely.

Loneliness is a pain

You know that, don't you?

While hopes remain,

Sufferings continue.

I hoped for her return.

When that was unlikely,

I went for a new person

Who might pander to me.

Was it really love then?

Or an aversion to loneliness?

For love it ain't when

You just profess or caress.

It ain't either

Merely a pleasant emotion.

Pleasant even is sugar

That's termed 'white poison'.

Happiness is good

But if I loved for that

It only hikes the likelihood

Of I being a selfish rat.

The word 'love' may seem

Unselfish and dignified

But "I" reigns supreme

In the "I love you" trite.

Oh' how we fool others

And even our own selves

With charming words

Pulled out of bookshelves!

So in search, I went

Not for love anymore.

Instead, what love meant

I set out to explore.

I cannot say I have

Found a conclusive answer

But I know that only the brave

Can give love that is truly pure.

What goes as love

Though is mostly hormones

Or a social arrangement of

Getting your moans.

Often people's love is also

Just a security package

Or a trophy to show
For enhancing one's image.

Everything goes in the name

Of love. From being jealous

To harboring disdain,

From stalking to flat abuse.

So is there a true love?

Yes, there is for sure

But you have to develop

To experience the pure.

To develop means to realize
That love is not desire's prize.
Desire is inadequacy in disguise.
From wholeness does love arise.

Now if you don't feel whole
You don't have to despair
You ain't your body at all
You ain't your mind either.

But if you can't yet see
Beyond your body and mind
Just have the humility
To work towards staying aligned.

Align with the ultimate power.
But you have to be brave

For few can totally surrender,

And let be carried by a wave.

But when you do succeed

In doing that, without a care

For yourself or for any need,

You savor a true love affair.

© Paresh Mishra

The Psychology of Holi

Little kids are good at it, dogs are too, in fact all animals are, but most adult human beings are pretty lousy at it. Can you guess what I am talking about? I am referring to the activity of play. Play was our second nature as children. As I see in my little nieces and nephews now, there was a time in our lives when we used to squeal in delight while playing. There was a time when our parents had to literally threaten us with punishments for us stop playing and get busy with work (studies). But somehow as we grew up, we became very serious creatures and lost something that was second nature to us. Now all we do is work, work and work. We think of play as a waste of time, unless it is of a competitive nature (as in competitive sports). Play for play sake is a lost art for most adults, that ironically we need to revive by taking it seriously.

Goofing around with my niece (Year 2011)

Today is the Hindu festival of Holi--the festival of playing with colors. Many of us celebrate the festival without really understanding the significance of it. That's fine in some respects, because the beauty of such traditions is that you reap their benefits when you engage in them, irrespective of whether you actually know their psychological and spiritual significance. However, it is also true that we are likely to do things the right way and in a more committed fashion if we understand the scientific basis of our festivals. So my post today is to very briefly explain the psychological basis of Holi. The post is not just for my readers. As is usually the case, through the process of writing my posts, I also try to remind myself of the things that are truly important in life.

As most Hindus know, the Holi festival has two main parts: 1) Holika Dahan, which involves lighting a bonfire the evening before the day of playing with colors, and 2) Holi, which involves playing with colors with your family, acquaintances, and even strangers. Most Hindus will also know that the Holika Dahan bonfire tradition is related to the story of Bhakt Prahalad, and the Holi playing with color festival is related to the leelas of Radha and Krishna. The Holika Dahan story is typically referred to as a story of good over evil, but it is much more than that. To me, the story of Prahalada is also a victory of the power of innocence (depicted through Prahalada's innocent love towards Vishnu) over mindless competitiveness (depicted through Hiranyakashipu, the ambitious demon who at one point of time controlled Indrapuri). You will appreciate this interpretation, especially when you put it in context of the tradition of playing with colors the day after the Holika Dahan. Holi is the celebration of the joyful play of Krishna with Radha and the Gopis. Krishna is of course the most playful avataars of Vishnu. Holi, where people become carefree and play with colors, is again a celebration of unadulterated play that unfortunately we only see in innocent children.

There is a kind of abandonment in real play. When you are engaged in real play, you lose all self-consciousness, a mindset that most of us adults are plagued with. The times when we succeed in living our life with a complete sense of abandonment--where there are no worries about winning or losing, no worries about what others will think of us--are the happiest times of our life. Such states have been described in the psychological literature as flow or being in the zone. Naturally, we continue to strive for those moments.

Sadly, having become too serious, most of us adults cannot get over our self-consciousness without the aid of substances such as alcohol and bhaang. Bhaang, as most Indians know, is very popular during times of Holi. This is a truly a sad degradation of ourselves, where we cannot even play with abandon without the help of substances. Now, lest I be accused of preaching morality, I should say that I don't see anything immoral in use of substances. I just find them to be inefficient means of experiencing bliss, because along with the momentary bliss comes terrible hangovers. And worse they are unhealthy, addictive, and potentially dangerous for self and others (as happens during drunken driving or alcohol inebriated rapes).

The point is that we adults have a need to experience the sense of self-abandonment that we could so easily access when we were children. That's why we gravitate towards substances. However, children don't need alcohol or bhaang to experience joy and bliss. They simply play. Holi is a festival that reminds us to loosen up and play without purpose. And this is also the spiritual significance of Holi. It prompts us in the direction of taking ourselves less seriously. It leads us in the direction of Ananda, which essentially means joy/bliss and is one of the three chief characteristics of the Brahman and our real selves.

Lastly, for those who only believe in science, there is quite a bit of research that has been done on the power of play. Play has been found to make people more happy, optimistic, creative, compassionate, physically healthy, productive. It has also been found to deepen our relationships. In his book, Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul, author Stuart Brown shares his research on murderers, and finds that one common link among the killers was that they lacked play during their childhood. Most of us probably played a lot during our childhood days, and have only lost the art as adults. So let's take up play, so that we don't end up killing ourselves through our mindless lifestyles. There is also strong positive correlation between play and success. So, if the external manifestation of success is all you want in your life, it still makes to take play seriously.

Happy Holi!!!

A Hindu View of Scientific Skepticism

In my previous post, I talked briefly about how I am beginning to see the wisdom behind some of the traditional Hindu practices. I definitely don't mean to say that all practices are great and should be continued, because it is also true that over generations many of these practices have devolved into rigid mindless rituals that harm the environment and even our minds. Most mindless stuff end up harming us in the long run.

It was not always easy for me to understand and appreciate the value in Hindu rituals. However, over the years, as I have gained more knowledge in the areas of psychology, sociology, and different Western and Indian philosophies, I have come to appreciate how some traditional rituals must have benefited (and continue to benefit) the overall society and the individual members within it.

However, since traditions—even scientific ones—can easily become mindless and irrelevant over time, it is necessary to have a bit of healthy skepticism towards them. In the language of yoga, we need to use our gyana (knowledge) and viveka (the ability to discriminate between real and unreal) to scrutinize our practices with a scientific bent of mind. 

Unfortunately, many people's understanding of science is completely convoluted. In their minds, anything associated with so called modern life is scientific, and worse, everything traditional is frivolous and superstitious. At the other extreme, we see people who will declare anything traditional or ancient as scientific. This is not very different from the "appeal to nature" fallacy, according to which anything natural is assumed to be valid, good and beneficial.

In science, students are encouraged to develop scientific skepticism to everything. Unfortunately sometimes scientists also take this skepticism to the extreme. They become blind believers of their version of 'scientific method' and deny the existence of anything that hasn't been successfully measured and verified. That's why I like the ideas of gyana and viveka, because there are no absolutes in the concepts of gyana and viveka. These are faculties that we have to develop throughout our life, but even a lifetime will not be sufficient to have fully developed gyana and viveka.

So we will always act according to our extant gyana and viveka. What we consider appropriate (or inappropriate) now is only based on our current gyana and viveka, so as these faculties develop, we may later see things very differently. This doesn't mean that truth changed. It only means that our enhanced gyana and viveka is helping us see certain truths that were previously invisible to us. The important thing is to never stop striving to enhance these faculties within ourselves.

A Seeker's Discovery

There was a time
Love was the aim of mine.
To give
And to receive
That emotion
Which is fun,
Soothing and ecstatic,
And make us all tick.

But then as you know
Came the ego.
A small little word
But a huge hazard.
For relationships
It is a literal apocalypse.
So love got destroyed
And I went into a void.

I was mad,
I was sad.
I wanted to be bad
But I failed at that.
So what do you do?
I just withdrew
Into a cocoon
Rather than impugn.

Why was life so unfair?
I asked in despair.
But then I thought
Why be distraught
Over a shortchange
When I could change
My life my way,
If not others' screenplay?

So with determination
I began to brighten
My inner self
By emptying the bookshelf.
With steely resolve
I began to evolve
Through hardcore action
And silent meditation.

I practiced, not to impress,
But to find happiness
That was independent
Of any external event.
So when somebody was mean
I still stayed serene.
Essentially, in solitude
I found my fortitude.

No, I didn't become a loner.
I was just a seeker.
I sought with intensity,
But not a loving company.
Because when you realize
You were after a compromise,
You see, "You got shortchanged
But not b'cos of a deranged."

You realize that You deceived
Yourself by what you believed.
I don't say, "Romantic love is
Some kind of disease,
But it only gives you a glimpse
Of that feeling of bliss,
Before it degrades,
And then ennui pervades."

So I don't reminisce.
Instead, I seek my bliss
Just within me
And not in external beauty.
And what I have found
Is this truth profound
That I am the bliss
Finding which was my wish.

A good life

What is a good life?
The one without strife?
Having friends of your type?
Or living fit till age ripe?

Having a spouse supportive?
Engaging in something creative?
Earning a lot of money?
Or having a cute baby?

The wise say, "None of these."
Good life isn't about goodies.
It is about doing your duties
Like accomplished karma yogis.

And I do practice karma yoga
But being an amateur fella
I often fail to practice
Especially, when I go off axis.

Then like most human beings
I wallow in negative feelings.
Giving up on myself, I quit
Instead of living life with grit.

So now I strive to be at ease
Howsoever rough are the seas.
I may swim or may drown
What matters is I do not frown.

With this motto, I live my life
That I will never fuss and gripe.
For a good life is not outside me,
It is my soul and esprit.

Three Midlife Resolutions

This is an old picture of me training on one of the trails near Bloomington

Below are three resolutions that I made today:

1. Strengthen the mindset of gratitude for even the shit that life throws at me, because this shit can be used as manure to accelerate my personal growth.
2. Dedicate every extra minute of life to realizing my dreams.
3. Strive to live every moment of my life with integrity and enthusiasm.

So why am I sharing these resolutions with you? I'm sharing them with you so that you can prod me anytime you see me veering away from these resolutions. Thank you for your support!

I want to lose myself

I want to lose myself.
Because the truth is that
I am full of myself.

An officer, professor,
This and that.
Positions come, and then alter.

But I identify
With these roles
Forgetting they all pass by.

When will I be able
To go beyond roles
Even when in them I revel?

A big role or tidbit,
My experience is
Ultimately they all restrict.

So I want to lose
That self which is
Just a hodgepodge of hues.

I want to find the real me
Good or bad, I don't care
As long as it's not a fantasy.

To know my truth
That's all I care
Even if it doesn't soothe.

I do not know

I do not believe
What I cannot perceive.
I believed once
In Providence
But not anymore.
Life is what it is
Nothing less nothing more.

I do not know.
That's all I know.
The way of the wise
Is to hypothesize,
Look for evidence
Within and without, but
Live life without pretense.

The Comforting Hand

I dreamt one night,

My girl leaving me,

But that's all right.

Life has no guarantee!

So I got into my car,

And turned on the key,

To drive away so far,

Where I would be free.

I saw in my dreams,

Getting my release,

Rowing in the streams,

Towards a precipice.

When came the fall,

I freely rolled down,

With a jubilant call,

Prepared to drown.

But deep under water,

When I fought for air,

My mind began to wonder:

This must be a nightmare!

But wasn't I wrong!

For when I gave up,

A hand came along,

And pushed me up.

When I reached the top,

The hand was gone,

But I can't ever stop,

To wonder when alone...

Whose hand was it?

I couldn't see Her face,

That I have to admit,

But I felt Her caress!

And the effect's there,

Even after many years,

I feel Her loving care,

When I'm in tears.

Touch of Light

Oh, I have died before,

But let me die again,

For what is life for,

But to break the chain?

That shackles us all,

To falsehoods and mirages,

And causes us to fall,

In our own images.

So let me die tonight,

To be born anew,

With the touch of light,

That takes us through.

Don't Quit

When you are tired
Take a short nap.

You'll get the required,

Energy to fill your gap.

When you are down,

Take a short nap.

It takes away the frown.

And you'll be set to zap.

But never give up,

The promise you made,

To yourself or Above.

Quitting is act degrade!

Om Namah Shivaya

Today is Maha Shivaratri, the Hindu festival devoted to the worship and reverence of Lord Shiva. People believe that worshiping Shiva on Maha Shivaratri pleases Him the most. Consequently, millions of devout Hindus perform fasts and elaborate rituals to please Lord Shiva today. I fasted today as well. I chanted the Maha Mrutyunjaya Mantra in the morning, and will do so again before going to bed. In fact, I have been regularly chanting the Maha Mrutyunjaya Mantra for quite a while now. Sometimes I do it using the Hrudrayksha Mala; most of the time, without the use of mala, especially while I am running or engaged in some other activity such as walking to school, cleaning the house, etc.

To some people it may seem strange that I worship Lord Shiva. Some orthodox Hindus may expect me to be chanting mantras of Rama and Krishna more than that of Shiva, primarily because I was born into a family where our Ishtha Devata is Lord Jagannath. Although my parents focused their devotion on Lord Jagannath, they also worshiped other Gods and Goddesses with strong fervor. So, my worship of Lord Shiva may not that surprising that way. However, what may be surprising is the fact that I am worshiping Shiva while being a scientist. Well, I grew up a staunch atheist, vehemently questioning the existence of God. May be that was just part of growing up, part of the common tendency in adolescents where they rebel against anything and everything traditional. My rebelling against religion was sometimes so strong that I brought tears into the eyes of my mother, although I had good followers among my two young sisters.

As the years passed by, I gradually started realizing the wisdom and scientific basis behind a lot of our practices and rituals. I stopped seeing religion as anti-science. Instead, I started seeing grounds where both complement and supplement each other. Over the last couple of years, I have become much more spiritual, primarily following a couple of personally profound spiritual experiences. Now I don't see spirituality and science as opposite ends of a continuum. Instead, I realize that the dichotomous thinking of science being all rational and religion being all superstitious is a highly prejudiced and parochial form of thinking. There are several practices in Hindu and Buddhist religions (the two religions about which I am most familiar) that have strong scientific foundation. Not just that, the ancient insights from these religions are being a major source of knowledge for the advancement of modern science.

Coming back to worshiping Lord Shiva, I do so because I admire his personality. According to me, He is probably the most humble of Hindu Gods. He places his consort, Parvati, higher than Himself. Although having the status of God, he meditates and practices yoga regularly. In fact, the science of yoga is considered to have originated from Him. He epitomizes the harmony of the masculine and feminine energies. He is compassionate, courageous, creative, decisive, disciplined, and strong--attributes that I would like to be manifested in myself. There is quite a substantial body of research in Psychology that shows that admiration of a person helps in the inculcation of the qualities embodied in the person. In my experience, admiration and identification with Gods and Goddesses can be an extremely powerful process. According to Carl Jung, Gods and Goddesses represent archetypes with high concentration of psychological and spiritual energy. Through practice, if we succeed in tapping into these high sources of energy, our lives can get completely transformed, not necessarily in a materialistic sense, but in terms of the embodiment of God-like qualities that are so difficult to inculcate from a living person.

How to experience true love?

The previous parts of this article are here: Preface, Part 1, Part 2, & Part 3.

In the last couple of posts, I talked about the idea that love is essentially being there. I also used this Buddhist definition of love as the basis to differentiate true love from the unreal varieties. It may be tempting to use this criterion to judge other people's love, but when we do that, we will most likely end up losing our peace. In cases of romantic love, we may feel bitter and resentful that our efforts to be there for our partner was not reciprocated. Thus, it is imperative that we stay non-judgmental about other people's love. But how can you stay non-judgmental in a situation where your partner failed to be present for you during the times of your need?

The point is that when we become judgmental, we fail to be there ourselves. We become so caught up in the whirlpool of our maddening thoughts and emotions that we fail to be fully present in the moment ourselves. We all know people who have lost their presents by ruminating over the past. I confess to have lost a lot of valuable moments of my life this way. The biggest tragedy of such rumination is that it prevents us from experiencing true love again.

There is a quote that has been attributed to Mahatma Gandhi that I absolutely love: Be the change you want to see in the world. If we want to experience true love, we have to practice true love ourselves. You may ask, "But I was always present for my beloved. Why am I suffering so much, whereas my neighbor seems to be enjoying true love despite being a jerk?" The fact of life is that there are several forces that influence our experiences. Some are directly influenced by us: our intentions, efforts, actions, etc. Some are influenced by  factors that are not directly within our immediate control: prarabdha karma (as per Hindu and Buddhist philosophy) or random events (according to some scientific views). So, bad things can and will continue to happen to good people. Just because you are good, does not mean that you will be automatically immune to bad things happening to you. Even Gods and Goddesses faced a lot of hardships and unfair deals, but they are worshiped as Gods primarily because they succeeded in not letting their equanimity to be disturbed by the events of their life. In other words, our subjective experience of good and bad events is always influenced by us alone. Those who are wise and highly evolved spiritually, succeed in maintaining their loving kindness towards others. They do this by continuously practicing mindfulness and love. And it is their practice that helps them be there fully. In summary, I think the best that we can do to experience true love is to practice being there ourselves.

To be continued ...

Being There

The previous parts of this article are here: Preface, Part 1, & Part 2.

One of the best cartoons I have seen is a New Yorker cartoon by Alex Gregory. In this cartoon, a man is  shown as thinking about golf while at work, thinking about sex while golfing, and thinking about work while having sex. In other words, the man is never fully present in any of the situations. The cartoon may seem to be depicting a case of fickle-mindedness. However, at a slightly deeper level, it is also making a statement about love, or more precisely what is not love. How can we say that the man loves his work, if he is day dreaming about golf while at work? How can we say that he loves golf, if he is engulfed in sexual fantasies while playing his game? And how can we say that the man is really making love, if while having sex he is preoccupied about his work?

Once I showed the above-mentioned cartoon to a group of fellow doctoral students in a research seminar, and everyone in the room had a good laugh. Why? Because at some level or other they all related to the man's predicament. As so accurately depicted in the cartoon, almost of all us are never fully present in the moment. The Buddhist practice of mindful meditation is a method that is very helpful in enhancing our capacity to live fully in the present. Over the last decade, there has also been a lot of scientific research on mindfulness. However, this post is not about mindfulness per se. It is about love. The reason I brought up mindfulness into the conversation is that mindfulness and true love both have the same ideal, i.e., to be there. I think the only difference between the two phenomena is the level of analysis. While mindfulness is a very broad concept, authentic love is very specific. Love focuses on being fully present for your beloved.

A couple of days ago, on this blog, I talked about the relationship between my parents. It must have been pretty obvious to you that I admire their relationship very much. But the admiration is not because they are perfect human beings or a perfect couple. Far from it! They both have a whole host of weaknesses and flaws. For example, they fought a lot with each other (only verbal arguments). But despite these failings, they always strove to be present for each other. They made conscious choices in that regard. For example, my dad always chose to come home straight from work so that he could be by my mother's side to provide her some respite who had been taking care of my intellectually disabled brother for the whole day all on her own. Similarly, my mom, was always concerned about my dad. Even now, when she has the opportunity to stay with her kids for longer periods of time, she always remains concerned about how my dad would be managing on his own, and so, returns home quickly to be able to take care of him. I don't want to glorify my parents. That's not my point. My point is that when two individuals are physically and psychologically present for each other, to take care of each other, to support each other in their difficulties,  and to share joys with each other, that is love.

Being there for each other is not an easy task. It will obviously involve many personal sacrifices. For example, one person may have to give up a coveted job and seek employment in a new location just to be able to be there for one's loved one. It may involve sacrificing different pleasurable activities and personal time on a regular basis. The point is that only few people will be ready to be present for you when personal sacrifices are involved. Only those who do, are the ones who truly love you. The rest is all fickle love, if not  necessarily fake love.

To be continued ...