Thursday, January 11, 2007

Perfect Trap

Since yesterday I have been wondering what to write in my first blog post. Thought of many ideas but nothing seemed appropriate. Disgusted with my indecisiveness, I decided to just start writing. But after a while I found myself using the backspace and delete keys more than any other on the keyboard. Self-doubt crept in, “I must be a bad writer,” followed by denial. “I can’t be so bad; after all I have already published a few articles and then if I were really so bad would I be in the graduate program of one of the top business schools of US?” Gradually and then suddenly I realized that the problem lied not with my abilities but with the belief that my blog should come out “perfect.” “Perfect,” whatever that means is probably something everyone wishes for. “Not me,” some would say, “I don’t wish for perfection; I know it is an illusion.” I knew that too, yet I fell into the perfect trap. Why? I guess we retain our wish for perfectionism despite our knowledge of perfection being a mirage. Perhaps our knowledge of perfection being impossible to achieve has made us a little more pragmatic, in the sense that we want to be imperfectly perfect, if not pure perfect, but perfect we still all want to be. That said, I am glad I could free myself of the perfect trap. May be that’s because even the perfect trap is not perfect.

2 comments:

  1. jab tu naya naya gaya tha U.S country kis tarah ki problems ka samna kiya tha tune . you know even i desperately want to go and establish myself there as early as possible

    ms. asai

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    Replies
    1. Smita, I did not face any major problems when I came to the US. Of course, there were small challenges, but nothing insurmountable; I was fortunate to have a lot of support from my employer, friends and colleagues. Anyway, from your comment, it seems like you are trying for a job or higher education in the US. My very best wishes to you. -Paresh

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