New Year's Resolutions

Raven: The man who has run 8 miles daily without fail since January 1, 1975

New Year is a time for hope. It is the time we resolve to improve ourselves, whether or not we admit it publicly. It is the time we bet against our own experience, because in all likelihood, we had made the same resolutions in the previous years and had failed. However, despite our repeated failure over the past years, we continue to believe that that this year will be different. We hope that we will finally be more disciplined with our health, finances or study habits.

This is a well researched phenomenon in psychology. Researchers estimate that people make the same new year's resolution every year, about 10 times on average. Somehow repeated failures do not reduce our enthusiasm to make new year's resolutions again and again. Most of us genuinely believe that we will definitely succeed this time around. In the field of Organizational Behavior, we say that past behavior is often the best predictor of future behavior. In that sense, how much so ever enthusiastic we may be right now, most of us will again fail in sticking to our new year's resolutions beyond a few weeks. 

When I was a first year undergraduate zoology student at Ravenshaw College in Cuttack, the Seniors of our program had arranged a party for us freshmen around the New Year. In that party every freshman was grilled with a few questions by our domineering seniors. One of the questions that I was asked was, "What is your new year's resolution?" With my tongue-in-cheek, I responded, "I have only one new year's resolution, and that is to not make any new year's resolution. Why make a new year's resolution when you know you will falter in a few days or weeks?" I remember receiving a lot of applause for my response, although contrary to what I proclaimed at the party that day, I have made quite a number of new year's resolutions over the years.

And similar to the pattern observed by researchers, I have failed at most of my resolutions as well. However, I never completely give up. Despite faltering after a week or two, I keep trying, and retrying, not just at the beginning of the year but throughout the year. So even when I didn't succeed to stick with my resolutions 100%, I still managed to develop and sustain new habits.

That said, I am hoping that this year will be different. This year I really want to create a streak of 366 days with respect to my resolutions. And this year I have made three. First is to run or engage in some other form of physical exercise everyday throughout 2016 so that I am at my fittest self this year. Second is to meditate for at least 25 minutes everyday. And third is to write at least one blog post every week in 2016.

Some of you will say, "Why so much obsession on running and fitness when you are already such a fit individual?" I am certainly a pretty fit person, and I exercise regularly as well, but going by data, my overall fitness levels decreased in 2015. In late May, I set a goal to qualify for the Boston Marathon by the end of 2015, but then I failed in it. In fact, my training was so low, I wasn't even ready to run a full marathon, let alone qualify for Boston. So I just ran a couple of half-marathons, and even there my times were much slower than my personal best record. My close friends consoled me saying that you have had a lot going on this year, so you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. That is certainly true, but I don't like making excuses. So circumstances aside, I hold nobody but myself responsible for not being able to meet my goal in 2015. 2016 will be different though, and I am determined to make it so.

My inspiration comes from Robert Raven Kraft, a man I came to know about just recently in a magazine article. Raven, as he is popularly known because of his habit of always wearing  black, is a 65 year old man from Miami who has run 8 miles everyday without fail on one of the beaches of Miami since January 1, 1975. That equals to over 116,800 miles so far. To put this into perspective, that is going around the earth over 14.8 times. That is the power of consistency! If one slowly but steadily puts in the miles (or whatever else that one aims to), over a period of time, one can accomplish feats that would have otherwise seemed impossible. But then one has to be absolutely committed. Raven, for example, ran through horrible hurricanes that often hit the coasts of Florida and even while he had a pneumonia. Now that's commitment! How committed am I? Time will be the judge.

The Splendor of Vancouver

This summer has been a busy one for me. Immediately after the completion of the Spring semester, I took two weeks off for a backpacking trip in Europe, but after my return from that trip I have been busy writing. I completed and submitted three book chapters, and am near completion on another chapter and a journal article. These latter two should be leaving my table within the next 4-5 days. Given this busy summer, it was a delight to travel to Vancouver, Canada last week. The travel was work-related to present a research paper at the Academy of Management Conference. As a passionate academic, I spent most of this trip attending sessions at the conference. However, my travel plan was such that I reached Vancouver a day before the start of the conference and left a day after. This allowed me to do some sight seeing in and around Vancouver.

One of my colleagues from another university mentioned that this may have been the most Facebooked Academy of Management Conference in history, because the city is so beautiful. Vancouver is definitely a beautiful city. Within the city, I liked the Waterfront and Stanley Park, two areas that helped me stay connected to nature. The rest of the downtown area didn't excite me much, because it was just like any other major city, filled with high-rise buildings. But then I'm biased towards nature. Thankfully, the outskirts of North Vancouver is packed with beautiful mountains and excellent hiking trails. I got the opportunity to hike parts of these trails on my first and last day in Vancouver. Most of the pictures below are from those two hikes.

The Grouse Mountain (Picture taken while coming down on the Skyride)

The highest point of my Vancouver trip was both literally and figuratively the Grouse Mountain. The trail up the Grouse Mountain is called the Grouse Grind, which is only 2.9 kilometers in length. However, the trail is very steep with an elevation gain of 853 meters (2800 feet). And because it is so steep, they only allow hikers to climb up the trail. You are required to take the cable car on your way down.

Thinking 2.9 kilometers to be too short a distance for an endurance runner like me, I went up the trail without carrying any water with me. That was foolish of me, not just because it was a hot summer afternoon, but because I had been out of touch with climbing mountains. Also, with my overconfidence, I started my hike by running up the trail. By the time I covered the first quarter of the trail, I was completely exhausted. So I had to take several one-minute breaks to catch my breath. With a lot of difficulty I reached the halfway mark in 33 minutes and 30 seconds. It is that point that I determined that I have to complete this climb in under 1 hour, howsoever difficult it may be. So I pushed myself hard. I finally made it to the summit with only 7 seconds to spare at 59 minutes 53 seconds. If I had planned things well, I could have certainly done better, but it felt good that I achieved my goal. My time was by no means extraordinary--the trail record, I understand is below 30 minutes--but as I always say, endurance activities are not about beating someone else's record but about competing with my one's own self.

Waterfront, Vancouver

The mountains that you see in the background are in North Vancouver. You can take a regular bus to go from Vancouver to North Vancouver. However, I strongly recommend taking the ferry (called Seabus) to cross the sea between Vancouver and North Vancouver. It's fast, unique, and much more beautiful than traveling on a regular bus. The nice thing is that the day-passes in Vancouver allows you to travel on all forms of public transport--train, bus and even the ferry.

Float planes in Vancouver

At the International Village in Vancouver

Suspension Bridge at the Lynn Canyon Park

One of the major tourist attractions in Vancouver is the Capillano Suspension Bridge in North Vancouver. The entrance to the Capillano park is pretty expensive at $37.50. I didn't go inside the Capillano park, but I passed by it on my way to the Grouse Mountain. I found the place to be very crowded, probably because it is heavily advertised in the tourist guides. So if you are like me who prefers less crowded places, a cheaper alternative to the Capillano Suspension Bridge is the suspension bridge in the Lynn Canyon Park. Here the entrance is absolutely free and the place is much less crowded. The nice thing about this suspension bridge is that it is narrower than the Capillano Suspension Bridge (although shorter), and thus shakes more while walking, making it more exciting. 

Picture of the river from the suspension bridge in Lynn Canyon Park

A small waterfall (picture taken from the suspension bridge in Lynn Canyon Park)

Crossed the river while hiking part of the Baden-Powell Trail

Sat in meditation here for about 15 minutes. It's so much easier to meditate when everything around you is so tranquil.

A rusted part of a wheel I noticed on the river bed while hiking

While hiking on the Baden-Powell Trail

At one of the sessions on Emotions and Relationships at the AOM conference

To some it may be boring to sit through full days of conference presentations, but to me learning about the latest developments in my field is one of the most exciting things in life. Not surprisingly, I ended up attending sessions from 8 in the morning to 6 or 8 in the evening.

The famous totem poles in Stanley Park of Vancouver

One unique thing about Stanley Park is that unlike most city-based parks, it has a lot of hiking trails that go through wooded areas. These hiking trails are easy, but like me if you prefer quietness and spending time in woods, you should explore to the Western section of the Stanley Park and not restrict yourself to the popular Eastern section of the park. The picture above is from the Eastern section of Stanley Park.

Sunset from my hotel window in Vancouver. The picture doesn't do justice to how beautiful the sunset was.

I'm not particularly fond of fancy hotels, but the nice thing about staying on the top floors of a high-rise hotel was that I got to experience this ethereally beautiful sunset one evening.

Dusk from my hotel window in Vancouver

While hiking up the Grouse Mountain

Hiking trip to the Grouse Mountain

The most beautiful sunrise I had ever seen from a flight

On my flight from Vancouver to Toronto, I experienced the most beautiful sunrise I have ever experienced from a flight. The above picture that I took on my cellphone doesn't do justice to how beautiful the sunrise actually was. With most of the passengers asleep on the flight, this was another nice and quiet moment to connect with the beauty of mother nature.

Target Boston: Day 1

The finish line of Boston Marathon (I had taken this picture in 2012 when I had visited Boston for a conference)

Today was the 119th Boston Marathon. Incidentally, despite it being my favorite race, I had completely forgotten about it. I remembered about the race only after I was reminded about it by my Department Chair in the morning.

It has been my dream to qualify and run the Boston Marathon for a long time, but I never fully committed myself to it, and consequently have not been able to fulfill this dream. So today I set a goal for myself: to qualify for the Boston Marathon by 31 December, 2015. This gives me little over 250 days to achieve my goal. Given the appalling levels of my current endurance, I know this is going to be a long and uphill battle, both literally and figuratively.

Today I ran a mere 1.25 miles. I know this is short, but with a strong determination, consistent training, and a little bit of luck I should be able to achieve my goal. At least, that's what I hope. I plan to write regularly about my training here. Stay tuned, if this interests you. And don't hesitate to leave in a word of encouragement periodically; I will definitely appreciate it. Thank you!

Meditative Running

An e-mail

A friend emailed me last night asking the question, "How did you learn about meditative running, and where would you point me if I wanted to know more?" After responding to her email this morning, I realized  that may be I should share my response on meditative running on Udyama as well. Hopefully, it will inspire others to try "meditative running" as well.

My response

Laura, my meditative running is kind of self-taught, because I didn't have any teacher or guru who taught me the techniques of meditative running. Meditative running is nothing but meditating during running. Over the last couple of years, I have taken up the practice of meditation very seriously, and it has helped me tremendously. I initially started with sitting meditation, the more traditional way to meditate. Soon I realized that running will be a great time to meditate as well. So, that's what I tried. The effect was almost instantaneous. My running became much more pleasurable and blissful experience than before. As you know, it's not that running was a chore for me before; I always enjoyed running, but meditation during running made the enjoyable experience much more profound. In fact, I realized that it was easier for me to get into a meditative state while running than while practicing in the sitting position. As regards how to practice meditation, it will be difficult explain that in a few sentences, but I'll try.

Meditation, according to me, is basically the process of eliminating mental noise from our minds. It can be done through many ways, but one of the simplest ways is to do it through the process of mindfulness. You may start by directing your attention on your breath. Keeping your attention steadfast on your breath will be a very difficult task; thousands of distracting thoughts will populate your mind. When this happens, don't feel frustrated. Instead, try to be aware of the entrance of a distracting thought, acknowledge it, gently let it go, and bring back your attention to your breath. Repeat this process again and again. Over time you will be able to keep your mind free from distracting thoughts (or noise) for longer duration. I practice this exact same thing (or some variation of it) while running as well, and that's what makes it meditative running. I'll be happy to guide you through the process of meditative running, if you want to learn more about it. You can also use the excellent resources available in Bloomington to learn the techniques of meditation, and then apply it to all walks of life, including running. The best place to learn meditation in Bloomington, I think, is the  Tibetan Mongolian Buddhist Cultural Center. They don't teach running meditation there, but you can definitely learn Walking Meditation there and apply it to your running. :-)

Concluding words

I hadn't posted anything on running here for over a year. So it feels really good to write about running again. Although I did engage in a lot of running last year, and had some major personal achievements (Finishing first  in my age-group in the competitive IU-Mini Marathon last year; Doing a 50K in the steep hills of Kentucky--my first ultra-marathon; Running a trail half-marathon completely barefoot). I didn't share these achievements here on my blog because I didn't want to feel like I was boasting. But now I can say with confidence that these accomplishments were made possible only because of my meditative running. I ran the IU-Mini this year as well; I was slower by 3 minutes compared to last year, and did not win any prizes. But that does not mean that it was any less an achievement for me. Only we know how many barriers and personal physical limits we have overcome, when we cross that finish line.

Blisters from running the Knobstone Trail Half-Marathon barefoot.

Blisters from the same Knobstone Half-Marathon.
Although, I had trained well on barefoot before the race, I wasn't prepared for the several miles of gravel-based trails on the course. It was really my meditation that helped me run through the pain.

From the recent IU-Mini Marathon 2012

From the recent IU-Mini Marathon 2012

How meditation may change your face

A couple of days ago there was an article on the New York Times titled, "How meditation may change your brain." The article cited some of the recent research studies that have found strong evidence on the benefits of meditation. The primary focus of the article was a study where people who never meditated before were taught meditation, and asked to practice the learnt meditation technique for 30 minutes a day for eight weeks; at the end of these eight weeks, researchers found substantial changes in their gray-matter of the brain that is associated with memory, empathy, and stress management.

The above report didn't surprise me, because I have been reading research studies on meditation for quite a while. More importantly, I have been practicing meditation myself, and have been personally experiencing benefits that I can attribute only to my meditation. Take the pictures below, for example:

Before Pictures

After Pictures

The first three pictures show my facial expression while running long distance races (as captured by professional photographers of the races) before I started practicing meditation. The last three pictures are from races after I started the habit of meditating during my runs. When I saw these after-pictures for the first time, I was myself surprised by the stark contrast in my facial expressions. Although I was in physical pain in both the Before and After races (because of running-related injuries), somehow meditation had helped me be in a state of peace after I started meditating during runs. Another major difference, which could not get captured in the pictures, was my attitude towards these races. Earlier, I used to be extremely competitive, and always wanted to finish my races with the best possible time, but once I started meditating during my runs, finishing didn't matter so much. What mattered most was enjoying every step of my run to the fullest extent possible. Of course, I am still a novice in meditation, so I was not completely successful in eradicating the goal of a "fast-finish" completely out of mind. However, I believe, the effect was significant enough to enable me to enjoy most of the marathon's distance without worrying too much about my performance. Paradoxically, the biggest surprise of embracing meditation during my runs was that my performance improved dramatically. Yes, my finish-times, actually improved several notches once I started meditating during my races. The maximum improvement was in a road-marathon, where I improved my previous best time by close to an hour. Although part of this improvement could be attributed to my greater experience in running long distance races, I believe it doesn't explain all the improvement, primarily because my amount of practice runs for these races weren't significantly higher than my previous races. So, I believe, the most important factor for improvement must have been my shift from a competitive/performance mindset to the mindset of just experiencing every moment of a run wholeheartedly. Probably, performance mindset consumes a lot of our mental energy, which leaves less available for use on the task at hand.

Although my improved performance may seem to be the most dramatic result here, it was completely besides the point. I will definitely not recommend anyone to take up meditation with purpose of increasing performance, because the purpose of meditation is to free ourselves up from our obsession on performance. It is not to use meditation as a tool to further enhance our performance. If our performance does increase after meditation, I believe, we should consider it just a bonus. The primary benefit of meditation, as I see it, is being able to live in peace. I have a long way to go when it comes to living every moment of my life in peace. However, I am very happy that I have embarked on the journey. From this perspective, I am very grateful to the personal crisis in my life that started it all. Intellectually, I knew quite a lot about meditation and its benefits, but they were not enough to motivate me to start practicing meditation myself. Meditation, despite its researched benefits, seemed like a waste of time for an active person like me. It was not until I found myself muddled up on emotional crossroads that I undertook a spiritual journey that involved meditation. This makes me think, "Although we all hate suffering and try our best to avoid it, sometimes the best gift we can ever receive in life is suffering, because in it lie the seeds of human growth, development and enlightenment."

Om shantih, shantih, shantih!!!

Why do I run?

Actually, I haven't run for about 6 weeks now. The reason: "A possible stress fracture in my right foot." The x-ray didn't show any fractures, but the orthopedist said that stress fractures often don't show up on x-rays, and the only way to be sure that it is not a stress fracture is to do an expensive procedure like MRI. However, if I continued to run ignoring my pain, then the possible stress fracture could exacerbate into a fully developed fracture. The thought of having to walk on a cast for 3 months was scary. I loved running too much to be away for running for so long. So, I decided to take the doctor's advice of treating the injury as if it really was a stress fracture, and take a break from running for 6 weeks. In the beginning, it seemed like 6 weeks would be a long period, but then it wasn't that bad. But now, as the 6 weeks come to an end, I can't wait to hit the road again. My plan is start with a short run tomorrow morning. But then as I am thinking about tomorrow's run, I can't help not be conscious of my eagerness to run. So, why do I love to run so much?

It can't be for the prizes, because I hardly ever win anything. It's not even the finisher's medal; I have run full-length marathons where there were no finisher's medal waiting for me at the finish line. It can't just be a fitness goal either, because fitness could be achieved through several means; why do I prefer running? Some of my friends may say that I prefer running because I am good at it, but then to me it seems like I am getting good at running, because of regular running, and not the other way round. There are social benefits of running with friends, but I run even when I don't have a friend to give me company. It's not an issue of trying to lose weight either, because fortunately, I don't have any weight issues, at least not so far. To the contrary, for quite a long time I wished to put on some weight and develop a more muscular physique. I even tried to do some weight training with a friend in Bloomington who is quite a hulk. But then the act of pumping iron in a gym could not hold my interest for long, and I gave up. Call it rationalization, if you may, but now I am very comfortable with my body image. In fact, I like the lean look of a long distance runner more than the sculpted bodies of body builders. The end result is I don't have a clear answer about why I like running so much. Surely, there are some benefits of running, and I enjoy those benefits, but to me it seems like running itself is the biggest benefit. In some ways, running then is like love. If somebody asks you why you love your beloved, you can't come up with a list of reasons (although some people may); you just love. There doesn't have to be a reason for love. Thankfully, I don't need one for running.

Statistical Modelling of Running

Cheer for Failure

Six days from now is the IU Mini-Marathon. This 13.1 mile road race started the year I joined Indiana University. I have been running it since, bettering my finish time with each attempt. But this year, I am not even sure if I can finish the race. I have had some leg injuries which have prevented me from training adequately for the race. Yesterday, while training for the race with a friend, I had to bail out just after 6 miles, because of the recurrence of severe pain in my leg. So frustrating!

Today morning I received a letter from the editor of a prestigious journal in our field. The research paper on which I had worked very hard over the last one and half years had been rejected for publication. The editor wrote, “I realize this is a very disappointing decision. However, the reviewers offer a variety of constructive comments that I hope will prove useful to you as you continue with this line of research.” Disappointing indeed!!

Frustrations and disappointments are that way inevitable in life, especially if you are trying to achieve something in your life. Almost all of the people who achieved anything substantial in their lives also had experienced big failures. Still who likes failures? So we celebrate our successes but not our failures. However, aren't success and failure two sides of the same coin? Would you ever toss a coin if you and everyone else knew that the coin had heads on both sides? There would be no surprise (and consequently no fun) in always getting a head. Similarly, success becomes pleasurable only because of the possibility of failure.

But the role of failure is not just to provide a contrasting experience that will enhance the pleasure that we get from our successes. Failure is also a critical ingredient of personal growth and development. Can a baby learn to walk without falling? Of course not! Thus, we take absolute delight when a baby stumbles and falls while attempting to walk. Yet, when it comes to our own lives, we get severely disappointed by our stumbles and falls. It is time that we start celebrating our failures as much as we do our successes, because paradoxically failures may be the only sign that we are still on the path of growth and enlightenment.

Cheers to my failure!!!

Step Out

Bloomington Snow

Indiana University opened today after the winter break. It was great to see Bloomington coming back to life again. As it is during a regular semester, there were students everywhere. But just 3-4 days ago when I was running, the streets of Bloomington were completely deserted. Part of the reason for the streets being empty was, of course, that students hadn't returned from the break, but the other reason was that it was horribly cold and the roads were covered with several inches of snow. Many runners hate to run in the snow, but I love it... I love the soft landing of the feet on snow. Anyway, during my runs I had taken a few pictures of snowy Bloomington on my cellphone. Here are those pictures:

Foot sinking in the snow..

He was as committed to music as I was to my running :-)