A Seeker's Discovery

There was a time
Love was the aim of mine.
To give
And to receive
That emotion
Which is fun,
Soothing and ecstatic,
And make us all tick.

But then as you know
Came the ego.
A small little word
But a huge hazard.
For relationships
It is a literal apocalypse.
So love got destroyed
And I went into a void.

I was mad,
I was sad.
I wanted to be bad
But I failed at that.
So what do you do?
I just withdrew
Into a cocoon
Rather than impugn.

Why was life so unfair?
I asked in despair.
But then I thought
Why be distraught
Over a shortchange
When I could change
My life my way,
If not others' screenplay?

So with determination
I began to brighten
My inner self
By emptying the bookshelf.
With steely resolve
I began to evolve
Through hardcore action
And silent meditation.

I practiced, not to impress,
But to find happiness
That was independent
Of any external event.
So when somebody was mean
I still stayed serene.
Essentially, in solitude
I found my fortitude.

No, I didn't become a loner.
I was just a seeker.
I sought with intensity,
But not a loving company.
Because when you realize
You were after a compromise,
You see, "You got shortchanged
But not b'cos of a deranged."

You realize that You deceived
Yourself by what you believed.
I don't say, "Romantic love is
Some kind of disease,
But it only gives you a glimpse
Of that feeling of bliss,
Before it degrades,
And then ennui pervades."

So I don't reminisce.
Instead, I seek my bliss
Just within me
And not in external beauty.
And what I have found
Is this truth profound
That I am the bliss
Finding which was my wish.